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Point: Sex education leaves much to be desired

Posted on Sep 21, 2009 in Opinion

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The only form of sex education I remotely remember receiving in my public education was in fifth grade in Arab, Ala., when the teachers divided up the boys and girls to talk about puberty, and again during eighth grade graduation when our principle gave the graduating class ‘abstinence’ T-shirts.

I had to look up what the word abstinence meant. Then I was confused, wondering if we would have to choose between having sex and staying abstinent during the coming freshmen year of high school. Being anything other than ‘abstinent’ had not crossed my mind at that point, and the total lack of explanation did absolutely nothing to keep me abstinent — on the contrary it stimulated my curiosity.

I was the youngest of four girls, so when my sisters wanted to know what ‘sex’ was, I, entirely too young, sat in during the cartoon video that my parents rented to tackle the touchy subject. My education on sex consisted of learning from that video that two grown-ups would cuddle underneath a blanket, and then the lady would become pregnant with a baby. I can say very frankly that I felt inadequately educated about sex by my high school, religious programs, and home life across the board. In retrospect, I wish I had received a much healthier sexual education.

I am a firm advocate for teaching abstinence and only abstinence to high schoolers. However, throwing a T-shirt at students that says the word ‘abstinence’ is in no way a sexual education. The current teaching on abstinence lacks thoroughness, rationality, approachability, and generates a “don’t eat the forbidden fruit’’ mentality.

In order for abstinence to be a realistic solution for teenagers and students in college, the approach and presentation of abstinence absolutely must change.

For starters, abstinence cannot be taught as a fear tactic. Yes, students should absolutely be informed of the hardships of teen pregnancy, STDs and the like. But students should also be taught that sex is not something one should be afraid of, but that it should be saved for the right person upon commitment and marriage.

I say that not from a religious standpoint but rather because marriage is undeniably the healthiest vehicle to host the amalgamation of sex.

The reality is that most teenagers do not look beyond the following Friday’s football game, and many of them do not have a revelation of marriage, children, career and the like. Students should be informed about the reality of explaining to their husbands or wives one day the number of people they have slept with and why. ‘Having a good time at prom’ will not be left at prom.

One day, even if a child or STD does not result from that specific early sexual encounter, that person is most likely going to have to be accountable to each and every sexual encounter with their spouse.

Most teenagers are completely unaware of the long term emotional and physical repercussions of becoming sexually active, whether the encounter is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. More so, students should be taught about what to expect from sex once they are mature enough to enter into such a relationship. I have too many acquaintances who abstained from sex out of fear, and now that they are married their sex life is more like a battleground than a valley of roses because they were never taught that sex is a GOOD thing…one day.

The approach of abstinence should be taught from the perspective that, like anything good, sex is worth waiting for. It should not be taught out of fear of the unknown. Students should be informed of repercussions, but not to generate fear. They should also be taught of the emotional and moral responsibilities that are inevitably aroused by sex. Some physiology classes could definitely help high schoolers handle the question of sex, and make a better informed decision.

Sex cannot just be taught as a physical act — the ins and outs of STDs and teenage pregnancy. The financial, emotional, and even spiritual responsibilities should be thoroughly addressed during sexual education, which would make abstinence a logical decision, not a fear driven one.

Email: slopez@uab.edu