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2012′ plot proves predictable, effects prove impressive

Posted on Nov 17, 2009 in Features

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Well, folks, the end is nigh. Again.

Director Roland Emmerich never met a disaster he didn’t like, from “Independence Day” and its aliens to “Day After Tomorrow” and its worst-case scenario aftereffects of global warming and the greenhouse effect. He’s become Hollywood’s go-to guy for revisionist disaster pics, and “2012” certainly falls under that category. The movie follows all the typical tropes of the Irwin Allen ’70s flicks like “The Towering Inferno” and “Poseidon Adventure.”

To wit: take a scenario that lends itself well to a disaster of epic proportions, add a few big stars, sprinkle in a few well-respected character actors, plus a few no-name types to serve as red shirts, add extensive special effects, and stir until well done. Emmerich clearly has things down to a science at this point, and if his scripts leave a bit to be desired in the areas of logic, coherency and, well, any sort of deep characterization whatsoever, so be it. After all, you didn’t come for that, did you? You came to see stuff blow up, and that it does, in an admittedly spectacular fashion.

The basics: As many have predicted, including most famously the Mayans, scientists have confirmed that the end is indeed near for us all. Not just for some of us; all of us. We’re talking disaster on a global scale. Now granted, it’s hard to believe governmental types would readily accept the words of a few random scientists that we’re all gonna die and prepare accordingly to the point of building a fleet of arks — yes, arks, as in Noah — in order to evacuate as many people as possible. If you guessed that one of the characters is indeed named Noah, well then, you probably know what you’re in for.

To be fair, the film does take a stab at some sort of social commentary in that only the elite- bred rich are invited to join the ark-a-pollooza, along with the best of the brightest of intellectual types, thus leaving the poor and everyone else to fend for themselves. At the same time, Emmerich and Co. can’t seem to resist their usual preachiness here and there, at which time the film stops cold. Thankfully, said preachiness is mostly short-lived, since, you know, we’ve got more stuff to blow up and all.

What’s a little harder to swallow are the flaws in logic you could fly a plane through, but then, if you came looking for logic in an Emmerich film, I’ve got a bridge I can sell you…or I could have if Emmerich hadn’t blown it to smithereens. To this end, we follow John Cusack as a would-be family man, who just happens to be in the right place at the right time throughout the entire film and just happens to be one step ahead, albeit barely, of all the disaster crashing down around him. He also just happens to meet several people at random who just happen to tell him what the what is and what he should do about it, down to where the arks are, and he just happens to get there in time, and…well, you get the idea. It’s a lot to swallow, to be sure, but once again, not what you came for, right?

Fortunately, once we get past what is probably more set-up and exposition than necessary — Emmerich can’t resist showing he has a big heart to go along with that big budget — stuff does indeed blow up, and it is pretty spectacular. Ever wanted to see Sin City go down in a reign of hellfire? Done. How about seeing the White House get taken out by a massive tidal wave? Also done. How about Woody Harrelson as a talk radio loony getting engulfed by an unearthed volcano as he continues to broadcast? Done and done.

Sure, some of the effects are fake-looking, but if you can suspend your disbelief enough, it’s a fun ride nonetheless. Though it seems more like summer blockbuster fodder than the pre-Oscar bait that usually starts rolling out right around now, one thing’s for sure: no one does disaster like Emmerich. And hey, it beats “Transformers 2,” at least. It may be silly and unbelievable, but when did that ever stop Emmerich before? Sit back, enjoy the ride, and hate yourself later. Meanwhile, Emmerich will come that much closer to ensuring himself a slot on one of those arks should the real disaster ever emerge. Can you say laughing all the way to the bank?
 

Email: ripmrgordo@hotmail.com

 




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