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Ask Jaime: Tricky love situations resolved, involving infidelity and bicuriosity

Posted on Aug 30, 2010 in Features

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ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER? 

Dear Jaime,
My girlfriend recently accused me of cheating on her. I have cheated on girls in the past, but I love my girlfriend and would never even look at another girl while I was with her. How do I make her believe me? I have been totally faithful, and I want her to trust me again. What should I do?
-Chris P.

Hey Chris,
If you really are telling me the truth and not leaving out any major points in your story, your girlfriend should believe you. You have to think, what made her feel like I would do something like this? If I were your girlfriend, I would feel pretty insecure seeing that you don’t have the best track record with staying faithful. In order to regain her trust, it’s really going to take some hard work on your part. You’re going to have to set the record straight and make her see that she is the only one you want to be with. Be honest with every little thing, and make it clear that the past is the past. You need to explain to her that she means more to you than anyone else, and you ONLY want to be with HER. She’s probably very hurt right now, and if she forgives/believes you, you better take her out on an amazing date to make up for the crappy time she’s most likely been having with the situation. I know you’re saying that you didn’t really cheat on her, but she is convinced you did. Don’t give up, she’ll come around eventually. Good luck!

I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT 

Dear Jaime,
I was at a party the other night and I kissed another girl. We were both pretty drunk and it was just a quick kiss, but I felt major chemistry. I don’t know if it was just the thrill of the situation, but I’m kind of freaked out. I’ve always dated guys, so I don’t think I’m a lesbian…what should I do?
-Anonymous

Ok, so I have a lot of gay friends who constantly tell me that sexual orientation is on a spectrum. Some people are at one end, where they are completely heterosexual, and others who are on the other end that are strictly homosexual. Others, (maybe like you), fall somewhere in the middle. Some people refer to this as bisexual, or even bi-curious. If you’ve always dated and felt attracted to guys, maybe kissing a girl was a one-time thing. If you felt strongly attracted to her in a way that you’ve never felt with a guy, maybe you should explore your feelings. If you want supplemental information, you can go to http://main.uab.edu/Sites/students/life/safe-zone/
Hope this helps!

If you have a question or need advice, contact jritter@uab.edu
(Please specify if you want to remain anonymous.)

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