The Homosexuality Debate Is Unnecessary

By on February 5, 2014

For sixteen years of my life, I lived in a very conservative town in Northeast Alabama. Like any other conservative town, talk of homosexuality was completely taboo. In 10th grade, a classmate decided to come out, probably being the first one to do so in the town’s history. Sadly, the entire school proceeded to isolate him and, succumbing to peer pressure, I did the same. The kid that the entire school used to like, the one they used to talk and even bunk with was all of the sudden seen as disgusting.

I felt terrible for joining my peers in ostracizing that classmate, because for as long as I can remember, I have always had respect toward gays. It didn’t matter if I was gay or not; I thought I still needed to fight for them, because they needed support from those around them just like anyone else.

Before I came to UAB, I had never actually spent time with a gay couple, and from the few times that I had been, I thought these relationships were something surreal, almost sacred. I perceived the relationship between the two to be picture-perfect, with no fighting or bickering, just the purest form of love.

Then I came to UAB, and it’s safe to say that I was completely wrong.


That’s the first thing I hear a friend say, actually more like yell, to her partner, which was followed shortly thereafter by heated argumentation – complete with swearing and arm flailing– and concluded with administration of the dreaded silent treatment. Like most fights between partners, however, by the end of the night the two had made up and were laughing, hugging, and enjoying each other’s company.

That night I realized something very significant: a relationship is a constant struggle between loving all the perfections and imperfections of your spouse—whether the spouse is of the same or different gender. Sexual orientation matters little in determining the value of a relationship. It doesn’t matter if it were my parents, aunt and uncle, my best friend and his girlfriend or any of the gay couples I’ve met, they all have had the same highs and lows through their relationships.

I also realized that, by setting gays on a pedestal as the ideal type of couple, I was simply forging further differences between the people who prefer to be with a different gender and those who prefer the same gender. They are no different. They’re the same as basically any of the other relationships I have seen. Love truly knows no barriers.

I was naïve in the beginning, but ultimately I figured something out: society has no reason to debate homosexuality. We’re arguing things that do not need to be discussed. I personally will be a proponent of gay rights until the same rights are given to all couples that decide to enter a union.

Sudhanshu Kaushik

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