‘Paula’ by Robin Thicke

By on July 14, 2014
robin-thicke-paula

Where do I even start with this one. I legitimately went into listening to this album with an open mind, or as open as I could get myself to be. Robin Thicke’s new album, Paula, is his attempt to apologize to his wife and win her back after having split in February. Apologizing through music is an age-old concept and can be beautiful and heartfelt like “Back To December” by Taylor Swift and “Dope” by Lady Gaga, but this album is neither of those.

Thicke is so desperate on this album that it’s excruciating to listen to. This album just comes off as shallow and embarrassing. It’s all about him. He doesn’t sound sincere on any of these songs, and what makes it worse is that it’s not even good music. It would be different if the songs were good, but no. The amount of uncomfortable lyrics on this album is astounding.

On the opener “You’re My Fantasy” he wastes no time getting desperate, “Please, please, please, please, please, please, please,” he begs. More like please, please, please stop.  “Come back to me / Come home to me babe / Come on back to me / Pretty please darling.” Ewww. No. And are those bongo’s in the background? What is this, the Copacabana? If only.

The lead single “Get Her Back” lays the creepy on full force, “(All I wanna do) Is give you that thing,” he says. No. Please do not give us anything.  While “Lock The Door” is basically about how he won’t leave her alone and keeps bugging her, that’s about the only thing I believe is true on this album.

On “Whatever I Want” he doesn’t help himself any, saying “(I can do whatever I want) Oh baby / (I can do whatever I want) Finally / (I can do whatever I want) Freedom.” If you’re so happy about your marriage breaking up then why did you write a whole album about how much you love her? I’m so confused.

As the album goes along he seems to lose more and more of his mind, for example: “With your new new new new new new new nails/ Sweet cherry pineapple black / Shine your magical touch and heavenly light on my body baby / Show me our love can grow back,” he says on “Love Can Grown Back.” What the heck is “sweet cherry pineapple black?” And it just gets worse on “Too Little Too Late”: “Every time you walk through that door / Should’ve waited patient, thanked you, spanked you, pleased you, feed you,” he says. Why would you even write that? Why? For starters, the tense does not even begin to align, but we can’t expect correct grammar out of the inconsolable Mr. Thicke.

These lyrics don’t get any better so I’m going to spare us all more pain and wrap this up.

If I had just separated from someone and they wrote this album for me, I would be like “Are you serious? This is your apology?” You can’t even take him seriously because this whole album sounds like the soundtrack to a cheesy, bad, off- Broadway show- and that is an insult to off-Broadway.

Even if he is sincere in what he’s saying on this album, I wouldn’t take him back for the simple fact that he’s using his broken marriage as a promotional tool. Not that it’s working seeing as how the album sold just 530 copies in its first week in the UK. But how tacky and disrespectful is that? I’m sure it’s hard enough for his wife to go through a separation in the public eye, and Thicke just insists on pouring alcohol on this cut. He needs to quit writing albums about getting his wife back and actually try to “get her back,” if that’s what he really wants, because all this album does is show how truly pathetic he is.

 

Taylor Dougherty

taylordougherty1993@gmail.com

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